Why I’ll Never Let My Fear of Flying Stop Me from Travelling

Facing the Fear of Flying

My heart is hammering so fast against my chest, I think it may burst out of my ribcage or even run out of beats completely. I feel hot and clammy, and my body is tense. A series of hysterical and catastrophizing thoughts crash through my brain. Panic courses through my bloodstream, alive with its own rhythm of fear and calamity.

I’m on a plane about to take off, and I am absolutely terrified.

I’ve had a fear of flying since I was in my late teens. I’m not sure where it came from—I always liked flying before that. I believe it has something to do with being out of control. Being out of control scares the hell out of me. Flying has been my nemesis for over ten years. Every single time I board an aircraft, my brain tells me it’s not safe, that I should avoid it at all costs, and that I’m pretty much guaranteed to meet an untimely death if I step on board.

Despite all of this, I’m a digital nomad who travels full-time. Defies logic, huh? Well… You could say I’m a little bit stubborn. On my wedding day, both my husband and father called me “determined”—code for stubborn. I have always been a strong woman, and anxiety casting its spell over me makes for an interesting conflict between my core personality and the traits I’ve picked up over the years.

Why Keep Flying If You’re Scared of It?

Even though flying is the thing that scares me the most, it’s the one thing I keep pushing myself to do. For me, the benefits of travel outweigh the costs of my fear of flying. I am still in love with the feeling of arriving in a new place, the new sounds and smells, the interesting architecture and scenery. I understand anxiety and fear enough after my years of observations to know that my thoughts and feelings are irrational, and I am safe no matter what my mind throws at me.

Continuing to fly despite my fears has allowed me to delve deep into travel anxiety and fears of flying, which many people across the globe struggle with. These fears are at various levels for each person; some may battle them daily when they travel to and from work, and others may avoid travel at all costs. Our reactions to our fears and anxieties have more to do with our own traits, experiences, and support systems than they do with the actual thing that scares us.

On top of this, every fear or anxiety is different. This is because every person is different and unique. No two people feel things the same way or have lived through the exact same experiences in life. This means that every reaction and coping mechanism is different.

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Air Travel and Recent Bad Press

Recently, there has been a surge in media reports of plane crashes and mechanical issues on flights, which have hit the headlines in various ways, with news reports that could instill fear into the hearts of even the most stoic traveler, and articles that use language that encourages readers to worry about flying.

A Google Trends review showed that searches for “are planes safe” are at the highest level they have ever been since Google was founded. There was also a huge spike in searches for the term “plane crashes” in the last two months, notably peaking around the time that world news reported two plane crashes in the US. The first was an American Airlines crash in Washington D.C. on 29th January, and the second, on 17th February, was a Delta flight which flipped upside down upon landing at Toronto airport.

Both of these plane crashes were reported in more sensational ways than usual, leading to a surge in people searching the internet for information. Videos and images of the crashes circulated online via news outlets and social media on a loop, making for increased panic and anxiety among air travelers.

But the numbers tell a different story. The number of plane crashes per month has actually been reducing, as CNN showed when breaking it down for us nicely. In actual fact, flying is one of the safest modes of travel. Certainly safer than driving a vehicle. Yet when we hear of a car crash, most of us don’t hesitate to get back behind the wheel, because they are so frequent that we’ve become almost numb to their occurrence.

The Power of Facts and Figures Against Anxiety

I can hear you thinking: But… If I crash my car, I’ve got a good chance of surviving, but if a plane that I’m on crashes, I’m most likely going to die. Yes, that is true. But that doesn’t mean that it’s more likely to happen.

A study conducted in 2024 by the Massachusetts Institute of Technology found that the risk of a fatality from commercial air travel is as low as 1 per every 13.7 million passengers. Experts say that rigorous training, policies and regulations, and technology advancements have made air travel the safest method of transport.

Arming yourself with the facts about flying may help to reduce your fears, as our brains thrive on facts and figures. If we can logically say to ourselves, these are the real-life figures, probabilities and safety mechanisms of flying, it can help to placate our anxious thoughts.

At the same time, staying away from any sensationalist headlines or consuming media about air travel crashes is wise. The more negative content we consume around flying, the more our fears will be exacerbated. I learned this the hard way—watching the film about a plane making an emergency landing in the Hudson River just hours before flying out of Newark airport—and vowed never to purposely consume negative flight media again.

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Throwing Yourself Towards Your Fears of Flying

Over the many years that I’ve fought anxieties surrounding flying, I have still taken several flights each year. Being environmentally conscious does mean, however, that I tend to travel overland if it’s possible, usually in Europe, but when in other continents, it often makes sense to fly from both a financial and time-saving perspective. And being a digital nomad who travels to housesits and conferences around the world, I am always traveling.

Throughout the last five years, I’ve done a lot of introspection. The number of flights I take each year has increased as I have ventured to more far-flung corners of the globe. This means more hours sitting on planes, more pre-flight nerves (which can start days or weeks before a flight), and more exposure to my fears. I’ve sat with my anxiety and fear for longer periods of time. I’ve put it under the microscope and prodded and poked it to understand it more fully. The more I come to understand it, the better I feel I can manage it.

I’m now a strong believer that the best way to win against your fears is to run towards them head-first. Hiding away doesn’t make our fears disappear. If anything, it allows them the freedom to run rampant over us, growing and growing until we can no longer cope. And running from our fears is unattainable and exhausting—they will always catch up with us.

But if you turn and face your fears head-on, that’s when you can really start to make headway towards improving your mindset, experiences, and reactions to your fears.

Practical Tips for Managing the Fear of Flying

I’ve also tried various types of therapy in the last ten years: counseling, cognitive-behavioral therapy, support groups, and hypnotherapy. For me, hypnotherapy works best. I’m now able to manage my thoughts and feelings, as well as my reactions to these, better than ever before. I also don’t need therapy very often anymore, only booking in when my symptoms feel overwhelming or I feel that I need some accountability.

I would highly suggest you talk your fears over with a professional—it’s incredible how just telling someone your fears can help. And, they will undoubtedly arm you with more tools for going forward and help to stop fears from ruling your life.

Some people’s fears are so severe that seeking medical advice can be useful. There are some medications available that may reduce anxiety. Always speak to your doctor before trying any medication, and be aware of any side effects that may come with the medication.

Personally, my first piece of advice to anyone suffering from a fear of flying would be to share your worries with family, friends, or partners and create a strong support system. Once people understand your mindset and how you feel about flying, they are better placed to help you. If you want to speak to a community of people who understand, I’ve set up a Facebook group specifically for travel anxiety, which you can join.

I would also encourage you to develop and adapt some of the following practical techniques, too.

Before You Fly:

1. Information: Arm yourself with facts and figures about the safety of flying.
2. Preparation: Be organized—being late or rushing can add to feelings of stress and anxiety.
3. Avoid caffeine and alcohol: Some stimulants and depressants can worsen anxiety.
4. Meditate: Try to find somewhere quiet to meditate, putting your headphones in to block out noise and allow full concentration.
5. Connect with cabin crew: Letting cabin crew know you are nervous can help, as they will reassure you and be of support, especially if you are flying alone.

During the Flight:

1. Distraction: Watch movies, read, or listen to music if you can—it will pass the time and keep your brain busy. If you are very panicked, you can do the 5-4-3-2-1 distraction; thinking of five things you can see, four things you can touch, three things you can hear, two things you can smell, and one thing you can taste.
2. Breathing: Do some deep breathing exercises—make your exhales longer than your inhales to really calm your nervous system.
3. Anchor: Use a physical object to anchor yourself into the present moment—this could be anything from a small pebble to a piece of jewelry.
4. Remind yourself of the information: Revisit that information you looked up before you took the flight—facts and figures about safety can calm you down.
5. Visualize arriving at your destination: This can be powerful and can allow your brain to focus on something which is usually much more pleasant—your arrival somewhere new, or getting home, or visiting a friend.

After You Land:

1. Journal: Think about what went well, what helped you keep calm on board, and how you processed and managed your emotions.
2. Be kind to yourself: Not everyone is brave enough to face their fears—it’s no small feat, so congratulate yourself and use kind language in your thoughts about yourself.

Will I Ever Get Rid of My Fear of Flying?

I don’t have the answer to this. It’s possible that your fears could be eradicated completely at some stage. It’s possible this fear will stay with you for life. The only thing I know for sure is that your fears will go nowhere if you stop flying completely.

The real question is, are you going to let fear stop you from living your life? I certainly won’t.

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Author Bio: Jessica Holmes quit her dream job as a police investigator to travel the world. She is now a writer, editor, digital nomad, and full-time house and pet sitter. Her book about her journey so far, The Housesitter’s Guide to the Galaxy, is available on Amazon and Waterstones. Her blog documents her travels. Follow her on Instagram.

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