I Quit My Job to Travel Solo — What I Learned About Loneliness

When I turned 30, I knew I needed to make a change. I was itching for the unknown and thought a year of travel could scratch that itch. Although daunting, it was the most influential year of my adulthood. Through missed flights, learning how to carry two 70-pound suitcases up four flights of stairs in the Tuscan heat, or trying to navigate a city with a language barrier, I definitely experienced some hiccups.

The loneliness was something that I hadn’t prepared for, but it was something that made me stronger. I found the humanity within becoming comfortable with being alone and realized that it was a common variable. I found the loneliness to be quite beautiful. Traveling solo can be many things, but if I learned anything, it was how to de-stigmatize loneliness.

Loneliness Loves Company

I found myself constantly resonating with strangers. I would frequently meet people who made an experience a bit brighter than it could have been without them. That was the beauty I was learning within grief, within humanity. A reminder that within every situation, we can love and lose deeply and quickly.

I traveled to over 26 countries during my time abroad. I was quickly learning how to sit with my loneliness in a more mature, self-aware way. I was constantly meeting people who helped me throughout this journey. From my waiter in Copenhagen bringing me an ice bucket after jamming my finger in the door, to the woman who took a picture of me admiring art at the Ny Carlsberg Museum and insisted on sending it to me, I was overwhelmed in the best way.

But then I realized that it was silly to be overwhelmed by kindness. This should be the norm; people admiring one another, people looking out for one another, or feeling compassion and commending all the emotions that we all face. I was constantly inspired by the little moments of joy while traveling. Like the way that everyone has a genuine interest in the book you are reading. These are simple pleasures that should be frequent ones.

An Uncategorizable Feeling

There is an uncategorizable feeling to becoming emotionally intimate with people you might never see again. When in Scotland, I sat down for my last meal in Glasgow, when a stranger eating alone next to me started a conversation. As a fellow ex-nomad, we instantly had compatible empathy for one another. Within the first few minutes, she asked me, “How’s the loneliness been?” As if reading my mind, she understood that I needed this question to be asked.

I indeed was in the height of my loneliness after being trapped in my own mind while traveling alone for the past two weeks. We got to talking about her dad’s illness and how loneliness is the sacrifice we make for adventure. Here we were, strangers, talking about our deepest fears over some black pudding.

Read More: Top Destinations for Solo Female Travelers

The Universal Struggle of Loneliness

The unhinged kindness continued when I reached London. During my first night out, I connected with some girls on an international Facebook group. With no expectations, these girls ended up being just the breath of fresh air I needed. They were so open, too, about their loneliness. These women were all 30 years old or almost—each inspired to take the risk of traveling in order to figure out who they were or who they wanted to become. Just like me, coming to London was the start of that.

It amazes me that these four girls came from completely different cultural backgrounds, religious beliefs, and upbringings, but we could all relate to the impact of loneliness. Whether that be within ourselves or our relation to the world, it is something that is so apparent. I stay true to the fact that there is nothing more humbling than this.

This assured me once again, as if I’ve been studying it exclusively, that we are all just trying to find a way out of the loneliness.

As we moved from dinner to the dance floor, I couldn’t help but feel how being alone—together felt so liberating.

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Letting Go of the Stigma of Approaching Strangers

When in Florence, I was sitting in Santa Croce while savoring my last gelato in Italy, when an elderly man approached me. I was so enamored with my lampone al cioccolato that it took me a few moments to realize this man was indeed talking to me.

“I’ve seen you many times around the city,” he said.

Apparently, I had been one of those familiar faces that this man, Alessandro, had coincidentally become aware of. He’d only seen me in passing, never still. While I was taking a slow moment to feel my surroundings, he found it a perfect time to say hello.

I was fascinated that I was a frequent sighting to Alessandro. I felt as if I was one of those people always in the background of a photo. A person that people wondered about, pondering even for a second who I was and how I made it in their picture. For a blimp of existence, those people could discover the beauty in being strangers experiencing the same moment in time.

So when I met Alessandro, I felt like I was one of those people.

He was a Florentine living in Brussels for the past 35 years, until finally, he decided it was time to come home. But to him, it wasn’t coming home, but starting over.

He told me he was “ricominciare da zero”. Restarting his life. Reimagining himself.

“Me too,” I said.

I admired the confidence of this eighty-something man’s dedication to ‘ricominciare da zero’. I understood once more that it’s never too late to start from the beginning.

After speaking for a while, the rain started to trickle down, and we were ready to disperse. He thanked me for being a writer and said I should be proud of what I do. I said thank you and that he should be proud of starting over again, too.

Italy Travel Guide

Embracing Solo Travel with New Perspectives

This must have been the theme of the day. When I left Alessandro, I went to a “Creatives in Florence” workshop and met a woman named Dreina.

Dreina, a fifty-something artist, decided to leave her entire life in Hungary to ‘ricominciare da zero’ in Italy.

She told me that she came here to find herself.

“Me too,” I said for the second time on this particular day.

Dreina was this fierce, beautiful, and intelligent woman who also overwhelmingly proved that it’s never too late to regain the knowledge of yourself. No matter what the obstacle is, we can always provide the opportunity for ourselves to achieve this.

How? By simply doing it. By leaving the world or the self we’ve always known for the unknown. By creating a new life within the existing one. Or commemorating your past lives while still being excited to meet the new one.

After my beautiful acquaintances with Alessandro and Dreina, I took the scenic route to my temporary home. I walked past the Ponte Vecchio’s reflective lights, shaping the water as a mirror. Although the same view each time, I always saw it from a different perspective. As the Arno keeps changing, so do I. Each time I walk by, I feel a new person coming into being.

Days like this left me inspired and reminded me why I embarked on this journey to begin with.

It was to experience the beauty in the fact that we really are all connected.

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Author Bio: Tricia Patras is a writer from Chicago but has been published within multiple mediums across the globe; True Mag, Business Insider, and BUST, to name a few. From her poetry Instagram account of 8,000+ followers, @achainofthoughts, she was interviewed for Medium. She also has a newsletter with over 3,000+ subscribers on Substack. Her debut poetry book, The Book of Time, will be released this year.

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